Not in any particular order!

1. Regina Spektor

It really doesn’t take much for her to put on performances, because all she really needs is herself and a piano, and I love that about her. They’re like…musings between a story-teller and her piano. I love her quirky lyrics; they can be fun and sweet, but I like her more serious reflections better, such as “Loveology,” “Ode to Divorce,” “The Flowers,” and “Hero.” Because…hmm…I think her music has very playful tendencies which could be interpreted as maybe child-like innocence, which I don’t mind at all because there’s something very pure and endearing about that, but her melancholic tunes make her so relatable, to me anyway. Humanistic, romantic, quirky. Those are the words I would use to describe Regina (:

2. Sigur Ros
 
I love the fact that they’re from Iceland, first of all. How exotic is that?! I haven’t listened to a ton of their music, but I’m in love with their ethereal sound which I found out later that they use a bow to play their guitar. Their music is beautiful, enchanting, like a… soundtrack to some pleasant dream. I like how they incorporate their use the music box, again, giving that childlike innocence. But unlike Regina, I think their “innocence” is more like birth, or new life, I mean, they did name themselves after a band member’s newborn sister, who was born the same day as the band was formed. My first impression of them was when a friend of mine showed me the music video to their song “Glosoli,” and to those that don’t know this band, I highly recommend that you start off with this song. Here, I even made it easier for you: click here to view to video. 

3. Conor Oberst

Conor Oberst. I gotta say, I’m not the biggest fan of his voice, but I’m a huge fan of his writing. I think he makes a better poet than a singer but he definitely was meant to be a musician than to…I don’t know, publish his “poems” in a book. His songs are like…rambles of his thoughts, like his stream of consciousness: original, thought-provoking, raw. Also, his love and dedication for music: his discography is impressive. He started to write songs and play in bands when he was 13 and all the projects that he was involved in since…I have to say, that’s a shit ton of songs. I haven’t even listened to all the discography of Bright Eyes yet…My favorite songs: “Entry Way Song,” “Lua,” “You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will,” “The First Day of My Life,” “A Perfect Sonnet,” “Hit the Switch,” “Cape Canaveral,” “Four Winds” (although I like The Killers cover better).

Single. Basically, I make a shitty girlfriend. (:

• mascara and eyelash curler
• bobby pins
• powder and powder brush
• spare contact lenses
• travel size contact solution
• nail clippers
• tweezers
• nude and neon pink lipsticks
• cover up
• four-sided nail filer
• brown eyeliner
• eyeliner sharpener
• eye shadow
• spare razor
• headband
• ball chain

Woot.

Well. Gotta finish this one way or another.

Most painful memory. I remember this quote from a book I was reading from way-back-when that went something along the lines of

Pain is temporary. Grief is forever.

Forgetting is a defense mechanism and I think time has a lot to do with how we forget pain to certain situations. For example, say that you had a bad break up and at that moment, nothing else could seem to have hurt you more. But you grew up, found a better significant other, realized that there is more to life than this person, etc. I can’t say that there was one situation where I felt the most pain so to speak, because I do forget, and maybe too much time has passed, but I could certainly say that regrets (things that went unresolved or incomplete, wishing things were different) hurt me the most.

Example: I remember in my youth group when I was in 8th grade, we took a mission trip to DC for a week to serve food out on the streets to the homeless. This one girl from another church and I, we were talking to this one friendly, kind-hearted man who was telling us about how he wanted some things, such as baby wipes, instant coffee mixes, a poncho, etc. And she and I were writing these things down and promised him that no matter what the circumstance, rain or shine, we’d meet him back at this spot the next day, same time. What ended up happening was that it rained, and the time I thought we were gonna go back out to serve food again, we didn’t go because of the weather, and I guess the director and whanot planned on taking us out to dinner. I knew for a fact that he was gonna be there, waiting alone in the rain, and because we went out to go eat instead…I still feel really bitter for not deciding on my own to go out there anyway. I did think about it, but I didn’t. I damn well should’ve.

Another example: In one of my classes during my sophomore year in high school, we were talking about the Virginia Tech shooting which happened not too long ago beforehand. We were talking about what happened, Columbine was mentioned, just how it’s awful and scary that these things happen. And then this one kid, he raised his hand and without thinking said, “The shooter was Chinese.” I whipped my head around, felt my face go red, and I was about to burst out into an angry “So what?” But I didn’t. Instead, he shot a nervous look at me for a split second, and I turned back around to see my teacher shift her weight uncomfortably from one foot to another and said, “Well, he was Korean, but…” and didn’t hear anything more. Ugh.

This isn’t really a memory, but a series of memories fall under this problem, and this problem hurts because they’re acts of selfishness, and anything that I do out of this selfishness always hurts people. Also, because of the fact that it still is an ongoing problem, it hurts me to know that I haven’t changed.

Basically, any regret that I haven’t forgotten and that still travels with me through time, those hurt me the most.

Cause if we stand for nothing, we’ll fall for anything.

I can’t stress, at this point in my life, how true this is for me.

Just because you’re at a constant state of limbo, where nothing is definite or clear, doesn’t mean you should let yourself go completely to what feels good at the moment. I have a really hard time thinking long-term: establishing healthy habits which would, in turn, provide some sort of stability. Yeah, some things are out of my control. But I think I tend to forget that I can have some control over my life, if I let myself.

…

It’s time I wake up.

Meh I did write poems here and there during my teenage angst years…I was more of a journal writer than anything haha..

Um. Here’s one. Not really a poem but yeah..I was 16 at the time.

Sunday, 18 March 2007

You’re an empty road in a desert that goes further than the eyes could see.
I could keep walking on that road but would come to no end.
I could strain my eyes out on the barren land but would find nothing.
The sun would be on my back, my feet numb and sore from walking, my forehead sweating.
But never would I smell your scent again, or feel your arms around my waist
Or feel the awkwardness of our height differences when we would walk holding hands.
You’re an empty road that would lead me nowhere.

Six years ago, I was 15.

…I’m embarrassed, to say the very least.

To those that are close to my heart (:

Shreya

Joy

Stacie

Lily

Maybe it’s too much for a first date, but this would be perfect. (:

Night drive.

Watch the stars.

Watch the sunrise.

Eat breakfast at a diner.

Sleep all day. 

Currently eating…Stuff I shouldn’t be eating…

My day was alright. I had a hard time getting out of bed for class and even though I was late, I’m glad I went. I just really want to do well this semester and I’ve been making efforts to do so. I turned in my assignment for ETS, had lunch, then went to bootcamp class. I honestly felt like I was gonna faint and later realized it was because I was dehydrated. Meh, nothing extraordinary happened, not yet anyways :P Family group really soon, which I’m excited for! And study group afterwards at Booth (:

choeinhee:

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 – A photo of yourself six years ago.
Day 6 – Do you write poems or songs? If so, post the ones of most significance to you.
Day 7 – Your favorite quote and why.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – How many relationships have you been in? 
Day 10 – Your most painful memory. 
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – What’s your relationship status (in details)?
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – Something you would like to change about yourself. 
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – Put your ipod on shuffle. What are the first 5 songs that appear?
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – What kind of person attracts you?
Day 20 – Your biggest pet peeves. 
Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – Your favorite books.
Day 25 – List your biggest fears.
Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 27 – A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of youself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days 

I will finish this one.

Ahh let’s see…

You know, looking back at my past relationships, I wonder if anyone has really stolen my heart in its entirety. I realize I have high expectations in general, and to protect my own heart, I would put on a front. Some people might say a “a wolf in sheep’s clothing” or “looking out for yourself,” but either case…through my acts of selfishness, I end up breaking my own heart. I’ve had my share of being both the heart-broken and the breaker and yet, having your heart doesn’t seem to cut it…

Then what is it do I want? I don’t know…now I feel like if I want to commit, I want to commit all the way. But how will I be able to find that out? Part of the reason why I just don’t want to date anymore, period.

This is getting too serious and soul-searchy so I’m just gonna keep this simple…

1. Your love for God
2. Harry Potter. What more do I have to say.
3. Puppies. Cute animals in general but if you get me a fucking puppy, I will fucking love you.
4. Your friendship: love, trust, and time spent together.
5. When our personality just…clicks!
6. Exercising control…good things come to those who wait. But being mysterious can only work for so long.
7. Stability.
8. I like attention, too.
9. I learned recently that having the the same types of humor is also important.
10. Be sexy ;P

1. For whatever reason, I don’t think you’re over her, even though this was ages ago. Hmm.
2. I’M SORRY I LET YOU SLIP THROUGH THE DRAIN…It was very traumatizing for me and scared me so much…I’m sorry for a painful death. ):
3. When are you leaving?
4. Don’t think you got away with this, because you haven’t.
5. I think you’re very pretty!

Blah. I really should avoid questions that make me reflect on regret. I’m trying to think less and less on this. 

I’ll be brief.

1. The relationship I had with my ex-boyfriend. What if I never fucked up. Would we still be together and be happy?
2. Com design. What if I never failed out? Or more so, what if I didn’t miss out on the appeal date an actually submitted my improved portfolio? I feel like I would’ve gotten back in…Would I have been doing better that I was beforehand?
3. What if I actually just stayed in my dorm that night during Halloween weekend.
4. What if I went into EM first besides KM? Would the things I have encountered been prevented? I doubt it.
5. What if I actually said “No” to you that day and actually worked on myself like I planned…Would you have said “Yes” if I asked you out later on, even though I rejected you first? 4.19.08